I Will Always Love you
by jatty-sixon fan
Summary: An alternative ending to Season 3 of Awkward. What I believe should've happened between Matty and Jenna. JATTY. My first fan fic so please review to let me know if i should continue. Sorry for the random word mistakes, I only realized after i published it and I don;'t know how to undo it


I Will Always Love You

Matty's POV

This is it. Maybe I should go on account to the fact that I was a nervous wreck. It was as if my nose was made out of iron fillings and there was a huge magnet trapped between my armpits. But why am I so nervous; _she_ was the one that decided to end it not me. For a while after she cheated on me, then broke up with me for Colin, I wan an angry pot of rage just waiting to burst. Every time I would see them making out in the hallways or holdings hand in the parking lot would make me wanna scream. If it hadn't been for the fact that I still loved Jenna, that douche-bag, Collin would be fucking dead by now. I swear I would've beaten him raw and not given a crap about what would happen to me. But somehow, I couldn't (not only because I still had feelings for Jenna) but because somehow, I felt like this was all my fault.

First of all, I had treated her like shit before we DTRd or whatever it's called. I treated her like some booty call for whenever I wanted quick sex or just when I was bored. I knew she wanted more but she just went along with it because I was Matty Mckgibben and I chose to treat like crap. I knew she loved me and I took advantage of that although in all honest truth, I just being a pussy about my true feelings for her. I knew that I was beginning to fall for her (soo something that Mckgibbens never do) but didn't want to admit that to myself. It wasn't until she went with Jake that I realized what I had done but I won her back though. I thought we were past all that once I told her how I truly and that I loved her but I guess that I was totally wrong.

Or maybe it was that argument we had before that photographer's party that sparked it off. They were stupid things I said but I didn't mean to hurt her or for it to drive her away. It was stupid and I regret it.

But, hold on a second, she hurt me too. Really bad. When she walked in with her tongue down Colin's throat, it practically killed me. It was like she had ripped my heart out of my body and stuck it in a blender. Gross but that was exactly how I felt at that exact moment. I mean, I fucking loved that girl... I love that girl. So much for me thinking the feeling was mutual. After she broke up with in the truck, I cried myself to sleep for days. And I never cry (even the time when I broke my leg in the second grade trying to play football), definitely not over a girl. But Jenna wasn't just a random girl. She was my first love, the first girl I truly loved and felt like I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So how could she do this to me? Everything was fine, just perfect. Maybe too perfect. Jenna always said that something good in her life was always followed by something bad. Maybe this was it.

Then bitterness overpowered my feeling sorry for myself. Fuck that bitch. I could have any girl I wanted. I hated her. I knew I should've never made her my girlfriend. Never told her that I loved her. Perhaps if I had kept her wanting more, I would probably still have her like putty in the palm of my hands. Mckgibben's never fall in love or a relationship. That was a huge mistake that I made. But I wanted to.

Then out of nowhere, she calls me, asking me to come and pick her up from some dodgy neighborhood like some sort of superman. Something told me that I shouldn't but I found myself in my truck going to get her knowing well that I had a girlfriend. "Can you hold me?" I don't know what happened than but it was as if my feeling burst its banks and suddenly, everything that I'd ever felt for Jenna came rushing back to me as I held her in my arms. The way she smiles with the eyes, rambles on about nothing when she's nervous, everything. It took every in my power not to jump her bones right then, throwing the girlfriend situation right out of the window.  
"Thank you for being my hero," she said into my ear.  
"That's all I ever wanted to be." It was the truth, is the truth. That's all I ever want to be.

Then she dumped the asshole Colin and we began to grow close again and then after my break-up with Devon, even closer. I began to fall back in love with her, deeper than ever before. Which led me to where I was now. Her balcony doorstep about to ask her a question that would probably determine if we would ever get past the 'more than friends'. But I don't think I can do this; I don't think I'm ready. I turn around sighing at my chickening out as I shamefully walked back to my truck. Perhaps I should think this through a little bit more before I rush into someth-

"Matty?"


End file.
